The Fall of the Hammer
by Taco Teusday
Summary: It began as love between a single man and a single soldier, but soon became a battle for the future of all.
1. Chapter 1

The Fall of the Hammer

Chapter 1: John Cena

His limp, rubbery cock dragged across the band room floor. My loins ached as he approached me; I longed to be filled by him. And his name was… JOHN CENA!*DUN DUNUN DUUUN* As I walked slowly towards him, his giant pineal gland was being dragged behind him as he groaned from standing too long. Suddenly, he and his massive cock came to a stop for they sensed a disturbance in the cock force.

As soon as he approached, Mr. Cena whispered gently into my ear, "You can't see me, my time is now," and he ripped his giant five-knuckle shuffle out from his pants, wiping it gently across my face.

His chode leaked a sweet syrup into my nostril cavities as I grew harder and harder.

"How long," I asked, breathlessly, "has it been since you've manscaped?"

He took my hands and said, "Shhh, no more tears." He took me and threw me against the wall, slowly caressing my ear lobe.

I was scared, yet erect as he forcefully ran his strong meaty fingers across my earlobe; I knew that I would be safe, for he and Lord Helix loved me greatly. I prayed for the sake of my soul as the sodomizing began, distracting myself by reciting lines verbatim from the U.S. Constitution. He picked me up by the asshole, probing me in a way that initially wasn't cool, but gradually became kinda cool, and locked me in his beejatorium.

It was in that very moment, I knew the devil known as Sonic Boom: Rise of Lyric, could no longer do harm to my frontal lobe, and the man known as Big the Cat, could no longer cry for FROGGIE; however, I also realized in this moment, my dick was hard.

I blushed profusely, for I knew my cock was pretty unimpressive, but as he held me up lovingly by my rectum he whispered as if knowing what I was thinking, "It's ok, at least you aren't asian."

 _ **The Overwhelming Sense of Pleasure**_ , by Mahatma Ghandi, washed over me in ways that my body at first was unaccustomed to. It came as a wave-first, very slowly, and then with a power unlike any force in the universe (except for maybe two trains meeting at an intersection at 8:00am, one going 65 km/h and the other going 80). "ТАК, ТАК, моє тіло відчуває СУТЬ задоволення. Я шукаю релізі!" I screamed in ecstasy. "YAAAAAAAAAaaaassss…."

John Cena suddenly started convulsing, for ТАК, ТАК, моє тіло відчуває СУТЬ задоволення. Я шукаю релізі was his code word, and a secret project conducted by the Russian government during 1986 was set in action. This was the start of WWIII and it was all my fault. As the overwhelming pressure of his massive hand up my rectum plus the fact that I had created the war that would end the world… I exploded. I was ashamed… now my hard love stick deflated into it's small and very impressive form, much like that found on my lobotomized gimp, Colonoscapoozy.

Yet it was Colonoscopoozy, whose dying wish came into play here. Had it been anyone else, their hard 12 inch dick would have stopped the war, but because Coloscapoozy wished for a world without Jews, he cut off his 2 incher to ensure the death of all gentiles. Thus the second coming of Hitler was born.

"There's a word for you in my native Zulu," I spat, wiping the semen from my hair. Colonoscapoozy looked like a condescending (which means to look down upon) giraffe in the headlights as I whispered in his virgin ears, "Ingcovza." I turned, my ass sparkling a cheeky pink color in the fluorescent lights of the band room. "You'll get what's coming to you, Hitler-chan."

*insert commercial break*

We had never discussed the heritage of Hitler 2.0, so lets go! Hitler was born to a German family under the name Hammerson, but decided to change their name as to go in line with their beliefs of a world without the Jews. And that is all.

And now Welcome Back to the show! Sponsored by BrazzersⓇ, A FamilyCompany

Being the faithful and morally sensitive man we all know him to be, Hitler kneeled down to pray before the sexy duel. "All mighty creator D, maker of heaven and girth, of all things semen unseen, forgotten, he came, cum substantially from the father, through him all things were made (cuz jizz)."

From the bystanders, there was a group of saviors who came forward. The one they called Cheese Danish limped forward, for it was hard for her to walk with three legs. The next, Waifu-san, pulled his meat curtains out in challenge. David-san, the man with murder etched into his eyes and his ID picture, projected himself forward by cumming a jet stream of jizz. Ratt Mob, with dank memes and 420 praise it asunder, then joined them, too. Milf-Burger, the hottest sexual deviant, reluctantly stood for she was almost too cool for school. Finally it was Stephen the Lesbian who descended among the common mortals. They prepared for battle.

Immediately, Hammer-san knew this challenge would be too much for him, so as soon as Waifu-San blew his own weeny peeny, the hammer decapitated his very handsome and glorious face. As it fell to the ground, Dana and David shouted together, "NOOOOOO WAIFU SAN YOU WERE SO YOUNG AND SEXY AND SEXY!"

Hammer-san laughed, as the weird and slightly-aroused friends wept for the loss of their one true brethren. Waifu laid lifeless, also aroused with a half-chub, in a pile of semen and blood. He whispered his final words: "Tell them… I fucked..." And he died before he could finish his confession. Hammer-san bragged, "NOW MY CHILDREN OF THE CHODE, YOU MUST FACE MY WRATH WITHOUT YOUR MOST POWERFUL ALLY."

Is this doom? Is this defeat? Cheese Danish wept manly tears. "He will pay for what he's done. Ngithanda Dick."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: The First Confrontation

Half a league, half a league, half a league onward, all in the deep, gaping cavern of his bumhole marched the three hundred. There has only been one army to ever control so many legions: the Third Reich. This is not them; this is something greater-the army to control the butthole.

As the army marched in, he wept-not tears of pain but tears of joy, for the ecstasy reached via soldiers marching on one's anal tract is a pleasing feeling known to only very few. He knew they were approaching his innermost core, the Prostate. But he didn't try to stop them. He enjoyed the pleasing feelings.

Stephen the Lesbian sighed, wiping sweat from his brow, "GUUUUUYYYYSSSS I'M BORED."

Rat Mob shook his head. "Do make it gay."

They pressed onward.

Suddenly a booty trap sprang from the large intestine. It was a poop compacted into dark matter. As it grew larger, a black hole fused over their heads. The young adventurers knew not the power in which they were facing. Deep cavernous echoes erupted from the gall bladder saying, "Young mortals, it is I, John Cena/Hitler 2.0/Hammer-san. It does not matter what you kind call me, for it will be pointless; your death is imminent."

The ghost of Waifu-san, who was horny down in the fiery depths, started licking the bottom of their feet from below. The young adventurers didn't understand why, so suddenly, their heels were so wet. But it aroused them. It inspired them. It gave their life meaning. Waifu-san whispered into their ears, "I'm rooting for you guys. Also, I'm masturbating to you." But they didn't hear him yet. They only felt his girth.

The anus was advanced darkness and hollow. Gaping is the word I want to use, however, it is not just merely gaping. No, it was larger than life-like when that dude Gipetto and his stupid wooden puppet got swallowed up by that space whale. I like that movie. Walt Disney hates the Jews.

It was then that they entered the lower intestine, the birthplace of that dark and never ending hole. Coming forth from it, they heard a young and feeble voice, almost what you would imagine a squirrel would sound like.

"I have awakened the darkness. I am the vader incarnate, an entity with one name. I am awakenthedarkness and I have come to fuck all your shit up."

Cheese Danish shuddered, for she feared the wrath of her patron goddess Christian who would come up from the depths only to insult her squirrelly physique.


End file.
